For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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