you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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