She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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