I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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