k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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