Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
