Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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