I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
