I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize