your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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