If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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