It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
