Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize