Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I understand Curling. That high.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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