Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
