just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
