I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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