Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
