Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
