We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone signed my nipple.
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