I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
