And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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