She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
