and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
