yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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