that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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