can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
