I puked a lego.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
