We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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