I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
