why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
