whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
