My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
