Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
