I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
