I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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