hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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