when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize