Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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