Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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