North Korea, Best Korea!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
