I want to stick my p in your. b.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Randomize
