I think i peed on brittanys purse
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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