in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
can u get pink eye on your cock?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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