why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
