so explain again why im purple
no
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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