it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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