Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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