hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Randomize
