I wish i was in the wii world.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
