that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
