Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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