note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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