Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
