I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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