I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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