Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just shotgunned beers for America
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize