Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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