Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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