Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
