i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
did i just pee glitter
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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