So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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