I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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