she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
