plz talk dirty to me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
