Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
